Holding Space
At Mazzi, we are committed to personal and collective mastery in the art of holding space for others - both individually and in groups. We hold space for “experience to unfold in the revelation of experience through time.” We believe that people have their own innate wisdom, spiritual path and destiny inside them, and it is already unfolding perfectly. We believe that by standing alongside others without judgement or opinion, that they will actually “experience that which is already so.” This requires a willingness to shine a light based on our own deep dives (underneath ourselves) and into Divine Truth and Perfect Peace. In that experience of Unified Divine Truth, versus the illusion of human fear of separation, true collaboration and powerfully connected creativity can be unleashed and harnessed.
At Mazzi, we are committed to personal and collective mastery in the art of holding space for others - both individually and in groups. We hold space for “experience to unfold in the revelation of experience through time.” We believe that people have their own innate wisdom, spiritual path and destiny inside them, and it is already unfolding perfectly. We believe that by standing alongside others without judgement or opinion, that they will actually “experience that which is already so.” This requires a willingness to shine a light based on our own deep dives (underneath ourselves) and into Divine Truth and Perfect Peace. In that experience of Unified Divine Truth, versus the illusion of human fear of separation, true collaboration and powerfully connected creativity can be unleashed and harnessed.
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Holding Space is particularly helpful when clients feel themselves moving from one level of consciousness to another (a “shift,” rather than a mere step). This often feels like a little death, because in many ways it is. The old way of seeing the world will be moved aside and replaced by a new way not yet internalized. This “jump off the cliff” will require two things: 1) the courage for the person or group to take a bold “leap of faith” and 2) the safety of space-holding by trained guides who can place a safe container around a phenomenon called “liminality." Liminality, in anthropological terms (from the Latin word limen, meaning “a threshold”), is “the quality of ambiguity or disorientation that occurs in the middle stages of social rituals, when participants no longer hold their pre-ritual status or beliefs but have not yet begun the transition to the status and beliefs they will hold when the ritual is complete.”
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Liminal Space is vitally important to hold when a person or team is embarking on a significant climb up a meaningful section of the consciousness maturity string in the pendulum diagram below:
The Sweetness of Holding Space for Another by Lynn Hauka [link to actual article]
Holding space for another person is incredibly profound. When you hold space for someone, you bring your entire presence to them. You walk along with them without judgment, sharing their journey to an unknown destination. Yet you’re completely willing to end up wherever they need to go. You give your heart, let go of control, and offer unconditional support. And when you do, both of you heal, grow, and transform.
Sounds like a tall order, doesn’t it?
You Already Hold Space Even if You Don’t Realize You Do
You’ve been utterly present with another person before. Remember the time when that stranger in the grocery store told you they were buying nutritional shakes for their mom because she couldn’t eat solid food anymore? Or when the person behind you in the airport security line revealed they were on the way to see their dying friend? And you stood there holding their tearful gaze, your heart wide open while they poured out their pain. Without judging them or trying to fix their problems.
Holding space can be that ordinary. And when they move on they’re carrying a gift from you that they then can offer to others.
Giving the Gift of Presence
I have several friends who are amazingly skilled at being utterly present with me. They’re self aware, compassionate, and without judgment. There’s no b.s. from them and they love me no matter what. Even when I’m bawling my eyes out, and snot’s running down my face, and I’m in such pain all I can do is blubber complete nonsense. They hold me in their beautiful, spacious container of caring so I can soften into the pain, acknowledge it, and let it go instead of being trapped in a long shit storm of grief, anger, and loss.
We’re a tribe of healers and transformers but paradoxically we’re also quite ordinary. On the outside our lives are not different from yours. But on the inside we’ve realized our natural-born power to transform and heal.
What Happens When You Master Holding Space
Though we’re all born with the ability to hold space, the more you practice the more mastery you’ll develop and the greater your power will be. You’ll discover how to be utterly present with someone yet also discover when to dance aside so they can trust their own wisdom. You’ll empower them to make their own choices because people are often more competent than they give themselves credit for. Yet paradoxically we all need to make mistaken choices so that we learn from them, grow our courage, and deepen our confidence.
And you’ll be able to check your ego at the door so you can withhold judgment from someone as they bounce off the walls, roar with pain, or crumble under pressure.
Let the Spaciousness Begin
You were born with the power to create and hold space for transformation and healing. And no matter how tough your life’s been or how long you’ve dwelled in darkness, you can reconnect with your power. But if you doubt yourself, simply sit quietly and picture being completely present with someone you care about.
Offer your imperfect self. Trust that your intent will make up for any so-called mistakes in your technique.
Simple. Elegant. Profound.
Are you ready to offer the gift of spaciousness?
Author Bio: Lynn Hauka teaches meditation to people who want to let go of life’s craziness. [QuitTheCrazy.com]
Holding space for another person is incredibly profound. When you hold space for someone, you bring your entire presence to them. You walk along with them without judgment, sharing their journey to an unknown destination. Yet you’re completely willing to end up wherever they need to go. You give your heart, let go of control, and offer unconditional support. And when you do, both of you heal, grow, and transform.
Sounds like a tall order, doesn’t it?
You Already Hold Space Even if You Don’t Realize You Do
You’ve been utterly present with another person before. Remember the time when that stranger in the grocery store told you they were buying nutritional shakes for their mom because she couldn’t eat solid food anymore? Or when the person behind you in the airport security line revealed they were on the way to see their dying friend? And you stood there holding their tearful gaze, your heart wide open while they poured out their pain. Without judging them or trying to fix their problems.
Holding space can be that ordinary. And when they move on they’re carrying a gift from you that they then can offer to others.
Giving the Gift of Presence
I have several friends who are amazingly skilled at being utterly present with me. They’re self aware, compassionate, and without judgment. There’s no b.s. from them and they love me no matter what. Even when I’m bawling my eyes out, and snot’s running down my face, and I’m in such pain all I can do is blubber complete nonsense. They hold me in their beautiful, spacious container of caring so I can soften into the pain, acknowledge it, and let it go instead of being trapped in a long shit storm of grief, anger, and loss.
We’re a tribe of healers and transformers but paradoxically we’re also quite ordinary. On the outside our lives are not different from yours. But on the inside we’ve realized our natural-born power to transform and heal.
What Happens When You Master Holding Space
Though we’re all born with the ability to hold space, the more you practice the more mastery you’ll develop and the greater your power will be. You’ll discover how to be utterly present with someone yet also discover when to dance aside so they can trust their own wisdom. You’ll empower them to make their own choices because people are often more competent than they give themselves credit for. Yet paradoxically we all need to make mistaken choices so that we learn from them, grow our courage, and deepen our confidence.
And you’ll be able to check your ego at the door so you can withhold judgment from someone as they bounce off the walls, roar with pain, or crumble under pressure.
Let the Spaciousness Begin
You were born with the power to create and hold space for transformation and healing. And no matter how tough your life’s been or how long you’ve dwelled in darkness, you can reconnect with your power. But if you doubt yourself, simply sit quietly and picture being completely present with someone you care about.
Offer your imperfect self. Trust that your intent will make up for any so-called mistakes in your technique.
Simple. Elegant. Profound.
Are you ready to offer the gift of spaciousness?
Author Bio: Lynn Hauka teaches meditation to people who want to let go of life’s craziness. [QuitTheCrazy.com]
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Four Stages of Community by M. Scott Peck [link to article]
According to M. Scott Peck, any group of strangers coming together to create a community goes through four distinct and predictable phases: Pseudocommunity The essential dynamic of pseudocommunity is conflict avoidance. Members are extremely pleasant with one another and avoid all disagreement. People, wanting to be loving, withhold some of the truth about themselves and their feelings in order to avoid conflict. Individual differences are minimized, unacknowledged, or ignored. The group may appear to be functioning smoothly but individuality, intimacy, and honesty are crushed. Generalizations and platitudes are characteristic of this stage. |
Chaos
Once individual differences surface, the group almost immediately moves into chaos. The chaos centers around well-intentioned but misguided attempts to heal and convert. Individual differences come out in the open and the group attempts to obliterate them. It is a stage of uncreative and unconstructive fighting and struggle. It is no fun. It is common for members to attack not only each other but also their leader, and common for one or more members--invariably proposing an "escape into organization"--to attempt to replace the designated leader. However as long as the goal is true community, organization as an attempted solution to chaos is unworkable.
Emptiness
The way through chaos to true community is through emptiness. It is the hardest and crucial stage of community development. It means members emptying themselves of barriers to communication. The most common barriers are expectations and preconceptions; prejudices; ideology, theology and solutions; the need to heal, fix, convert or solve; and the need to control. The stage of emptiness is ushered in as members begin to share their own brokenness--their defeats, failures, fears, rather than acting as if they "have it all together."
True community
True community emerges as the group chooses to embrace not only the light but life's darkness. True community is both joyful and realistic. The transformation of the group from a collection of individuals into true community requires little deaths in many of the individuals. But it is also a time of group death, group dying. Through this emptiness, this sacrifice, comes true community. "In this final stage a soft quietness descends. It is a kind of peace. The room is bathed in peace.
Adapted from M. Scott Peck, MD (A Different Drum), and reprinted with permission from Wellness for Helping Professionals © 1990, Meryn G. Callander
Once individual differences surface, the group almost immediately moves into chaos. The chaos centers around well-intentioned but misguided attempts to heal and convert. Individual differences come out in the open and the group attempts to obliterate them. It is a stage of uncreative and unconstructive fighting and struggle. It is no fun. It is common for members to attack not only each other but also their leader, and common for one or more members--invariably proposing an "escape into organization"--to attempt to replace the designated leader. However as long as the goal is true community, organization as an attempted solution to chaos is unworkable.
Emptiness
The way through chaos to true community is through emptiness. It is the hardest and crucial stage of community development. It means members emptying themselves of barriers to communication. The most common barriers are expectations and preconceptions; prejudices; ideology, theology and solutions; the need to heal, fix, convert or solve; and the need to control. The stage of emptiness is ushered in as members begin to share their own brokenness--their defeats, failures, fears, rather than acting as if they "have it all together."
True community
True community emerges as the group chooses to embrace not only the light but life's darkness. True community is both joyful and realistic. The transformation of the group from a collection of individuals into true community requires little deaths in many of the individuals. But it is also a time of group death, group dying. Through this emptiness, this sacrifice, comes true community. "In this final stage a soft quietness descends. It is a kind of peace. The room is bathed in peace.
Adapted from M. Scott Peck, MD (A Different Drum), and reprinted with permission from Wellness for Helping Professionals © 1990, Meryn G. Callander